wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
