My friends, they love my intelligence
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
