I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
