Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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