Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just invented taco cereal.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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