Bisexual people are plain selfish.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
