you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
