I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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