Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
