It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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