she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
