marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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