found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
