Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
