Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My ass is underappreciated
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
