if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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