8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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