ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
