I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
