She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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