Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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