well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
