I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
