I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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