Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
