i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
