Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
