He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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