we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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