Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
