Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
