dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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