I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
