What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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