I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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