he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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