Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
