The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
