a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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