My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
