***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
