just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize