is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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