she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
