well most of my day revolves around power hour
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
