im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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