I looked at my own cervix.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
