she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
