her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
