I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
