Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize