Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
