none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
