yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize