I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My ATM looks so different sober.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
