i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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