fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
