All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
