He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Where is the hickey?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
