Only a mothe r could love this liver
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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