I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
