Yo dont text me then not text me
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
