Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I pour the whiskey from now on
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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