I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
